Very very Impressive Questions and Answers….. ….

Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night,
it’s raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see
three people waiting for a bus:

An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

An old friend who once saved your life.

The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that
there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a
job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus
you should save her first;

* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and
this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back.

* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble
coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?

He simply answered:

“I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to
the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner
of my dreams.”

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought
limitations. Never forget to “Think Outside of the Box.”

Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister?”

The candidate who was selected answered ” I will not get a better match
for my sister than you sir”

Question 3: Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) – What is one
morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant.

Girl – I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my
husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed
it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when
asked

Question 4: Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate.
Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before
you?

Candidate: Instantly replied “Tea”

He got selected.

You know how and why did he say “TEA” when he knows very well that
coffee was kept before.

(Answer: The question was “What is before you (U – alphabet)

Reply was “TEA” ( T – alphabet)

Alphabet “T” was before Alphabet “U”

Question 5: Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his “First Diwali”?
People will start thinking of Ayodya, Mitila [Janaki's place], Lanka
etc…

But the logic is, Diwali was a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna
Killing Narakasura . In Dusavataar, Krishnavathaar comes after
Raamavathaar.

So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all!

Question 6: The interviewer asked to the candidate “This is your last
question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the
center of this table where u have kept your files.”

Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table
and told that this was the central point at the table. Interviewer asked
how did u get to know that this being the central point of this table,
then he answers quickly that sir u r not likely to ask any more
question, as it was the last question that u promised to ask…..

And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness.
……….

This is What Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ….

“THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX”

Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

*********
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

*********
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he
hasn’t come back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else?

***********
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You
know
why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

***********
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you change your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.

************
Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying
furiously…
Finally, Santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.

************

Sardar wanted to make a STD. call to Punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to Punjab and made a local call.

========================================
Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital ki jagah pizza
hut kyun leja raha hai……..
Sardarji: Kyun key pizza hut mein “Delivery Free” hai.

==============================================
A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab ** � ?o
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

=================================================
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this
village?
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

=================================================
Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.

=================================================
American says: ” US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..”
Sardarji says: ” India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai…!!!”

=================================================
Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

=======================================================
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

=========================================================
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta
hai
jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

==============================================
Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
When a person asked what he was doing?
He replied, Oye! Higher studies yaar.

==============================================
2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we
both copied.

==============================================
A sardar learning english introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
this is my sardarni,
he is my kid,
& she is my kidney.

==============================================
Sardar 1: I’m very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I
sent my wife with him.

kyun aajkal homework kam orkut jyada hai
lagta fail hone ka pura-pura iraada hain
kal tha topper aaj 40 bhi jyada hain
lagta fail hone ka pura-pura iraada hain
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
o o o o o …

college ki inn classes me,
boring si ek teacher hai
jabse mila hai orkut
badla har ek manzar hain
dekho jahaan mein neeli neeli iss screen tale
dost naye naye hain jaise milte hue
tu mere khwaabon mein jawaabon mein sawaalon mein
har din chura tumhen main laata hoon khayalon mein
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah

SOME R MUSICAL,
SOME R ROMANTIC,
SOME R ADVENTURES,
SOME R COMEDY,
SOME R TRAGEDY,

BUT VERY FEW R “OSCAR”
WINNING LIKE U

TU DOOR HAI MUJHSE AUR PAAS BHI HAI,
TERI KAMI KA MUJHE KAHIN EHSAAS BHI HAI,
DOST KUCH HI HAIN MERE IS JAHAN ME,
PAR UNME SE TU HI PYAARA BHI HAI AUR KHAAS BHI HAI ..

Dosti ek saahil hai tufaano ke liye,
Dosti ek aaina hai armaano ke liye,
Dosti ek mehfil hai anjaano ke liye,
Dosti ek khawaahish hai aap jaise dost ko paane ke liye ..

Aye dost teri dosti ush ghadi tadpaayegi,
Jab zindagi kahegi alvida, Aur maut bhi naa aayegi ..

Dosti toh sirf ek ittefaaq hai,
Yeh toh dilon ki mulaakaat hai,
Dosti nahi dekhti yeh din hai ki raat hai,
Isme toh sirf wafaadaari aur jazbaat hai ..

Jazbaate ishq naakaam naa hone denge,
Dil ki duniya mein kabhi shaam naa hone denge,
Dosti ka har ilzaam apne sar par le lenge,
Par dost hum tumhe badnaam na hone denge ..

Tumse doori ka ehsaas sataane lagaa,
Tere saath guzaraa har lamha yaad aane laga,
Jab bhi tujhe bhoolne ki koshish ki aye dost,
Tu dil ke aur bhi kareeb aane laga ..

Kaun kehta hai Dost tumse hamari Judaai hogi,
Ye Khabar kissi gair ne Udaai hogi,
Shaan se rahenge aapke Dil me hum,
Itne dino me Humne kuch toh Jagah banaai hogi ..

Zindagi udas hone ka naam nahi,
Dosti sirf paas hone ka naam nahi,
Agar tum dur rehkar bhi hamhe yad karo,
is se bada hamare liye koi inam nahi ..

Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.
Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to
recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.
Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet
someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance
your personality.

———-FEBRUARY BABY ——————–
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.
Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone
new and realize that you are a perfect match.

—————–MARCH BABY ——————–
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and
reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous
and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up
feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you
repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your
new love in 8 days.

——————APRIL BABY ——————-
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.
Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and
sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does
work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good
memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Able to cheer evryone up and/or
make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and
others. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
traveling. Systematic. hott but has brains. If you
repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that’s caught your eye
will introduce themself and you will realize that
you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

—————–MAY BABY —————–
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and
highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex.
Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to
dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike
being at home. Restless. Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in the
next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone
you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.

————JUNE BABY ————-
You’ve got the best personality and are an
absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make
new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt
and more than likely have an a very attractive
partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely
that you have a massive record collection. You
have a great choice in films, and may one day
become a famous actor/actress yourself – heck,
you’ve got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you
will meet someone that may possibly become
oneof your closest friends, if you repost this in 5
minutes.

—————-JULY BABY ————–
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to
be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily
consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s
feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody
and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at
times.
Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
and forms impressions carefully. Caring and
loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods
about the past and the old friends. Waits for
friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive
unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5
mins and your reputation will boost someway in
the next 12 days

————AUGUST BABY —————
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on
attention. no self control. kind hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful.
easy to get along with and talk to. has an “every
thing’s peachy” attitude. likes talking and singing.
loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates
not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be
loved. hates studying. in need of “that someone”.
longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or
restricted. lives by “no pain no gain” caring.
always a suspect. playful. mysterious. “charming”
or “beautiful” to everyone. stubborn. curious.
independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5
mins and you will meet the love of your life
sometime next month.

————SEPTEMBER BABY —————
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends
to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems.
Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and
caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have
many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional.
Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates
oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.
Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can
understand. if you do not repost this in the next 5
mins, someone very close to you will become mad
at you in the next 8 days.

—————OCTOBER BABY ——————-
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the center. Inner and physical
beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care to control emotions. Unpredictable.
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins .

—————NOVEMBER BABY ——————–
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.
Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards
your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the
greatest men are born in this month. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind. repost
in 5 mins & you will excell in a major event coming
up sometime this month.

—————DECEMBER BABY —————
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking
person possible… better than all of these other
months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
in everything. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to
joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone
always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.
Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of
person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting
colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to
dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows
emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Sensitive.

*^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^*

Sochta hoon sagar ki lehron ko dekhkar kyu ye kinare se takrakar laut jati hain,
Karti hain woh kinare se bewafayi ya sagar se wafa nibhati hain.

*^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^*

Mohabbat ke bhi kuch andaaz hote hain,
Jaagti aankoh me bhi kuch khawab hote hain,
Zaroori nahi ki gham me aansu nikhle,
Mushkurati aankho me bhi sailab hote hain ..

*^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^*

Mushkilon Se Aapki Mulakat Na Ho,
Udas Baitho Aisi Koi Baat Na Ho,
Dua Hai Ki Mehfilon Se Saje Zindagi Aapki,
Bas Mujhko Pukar Lena Agar Koi Saath Na Ho ..

*^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^*

Faasle Mita Kar Aapas Me Pyar Rakhana,
Pyar Ka Yeh Rista Hamesha Yun Hi Barkarar Rakhana,
Bichad Bhi Jaye Kabhi Aap Se Hum To,
Aankho Me Hamesha Hamara Intezar Rakhana ..

*^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^*

Ankhe to Chahat me dil ki Zuban Hoti Hai,
Sachi Chahat to Sadaa Bezubaan Hoti Hai,
Pyar Me Dard Bhi Mile to Kya Ghabharana,
Suna Hai Dard Se Chahat Aur Jawan Hoti Hai ..

*^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^*

Zindagi Ek Chahat Ka Silsila Hai, Koi Mil Gaya To Koi Bichad Gaya,Jinhe Manga Tha Duaon Me, Voh Kisi Ko Bina Maange Hi Mil Gaya ..

Chakravyuh mein ghusne ke baad,
mere aur chakravyuh ke beech,
sirf ek jaanleva nikat’ta thi,
iska mujhe pata hi na chalega.

Chakravyuh se nikalne ke baad,
main mukt ho jaoon bhale hi,
phir bhi chakravyuh ki rachna mein
farq hi na padega.

Marun ya maarun,
maara jaoon ya jaan se maardun.
iska faisla kabhi na ho paayega.

Soya hua aadmi jab
neend se uthkar chalna shuru karta hai,
tab sapnon ka sansar use,
dobara dikh hi na paayega.

Us roshni mein jo nirnay ki roshni hai
sab kuchh s’maan hoga kya?

Ek palde mein napunsakta,
ek palde mein paurush,
aur theek taraazu ke kaante par
ardh satya

Sitting besides a

Telugu guy.

Both were traveling to US.

Telugu Guy: ” Hello, May I know your name please?”

James Bond: ” I am Bond………..James

Bond.”

James Bond: “And you?”

Telugu Guy: ” I am Sai…

Venkata Sai…

Siva Venkata Sai …

Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai…

Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai…

Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva

Venkata

Sai…

Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula

Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai…

Bulusupalli Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula

Laxminarayana Siva

Venkata Sai…”

Bond faints!!!!

Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply

Says ” James Bond”

Moral : Never Underestimate an Indian

Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support

Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant

Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management

Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)

Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation

Narada
Data transfer

Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant

Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records

Apsaras
Downloadable Viruses

Devas
Mainframe Programmers

Surya
Solaris Administrator

Rakshasas
In house Hackers

Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF

Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process

Lakshman
Support Software and Backup

Hanuman
Linux/s390

Vaali
MS Windows

Sugreeva
DOS

Jatayu
Firewall

Dronacharya
System Programmer

Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects

Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion

Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)

Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )

Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)

Arjun
Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)

Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer

Draupadi
Motivation & Team building

Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM

Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB

Karna
Contract programmer

Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++

Gandhari
Dreamweaver

100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches